Living in regrets is death
Life is full of regrets. You often hear such a story and probably share the same experience: If I had bought shares in Google, Amazon or Apple ten years ago, I would now have made so much money; if I had bought a cheap property back in 1996, I would have a property worth at least 20 times as much. If I had bought that shop and opened my own business when I was in my 20's, then now I would be very wealthy and I would have a fulfilling career. If I had worked hard to go to college, then I would not be doing this sort of job I am doing, struggling to pay my bills. If I had married the right person, I would be leading a happier life; if I had moved to that country, I would be now enjoying sunshine every day rather than wobbled in gloom day in and day out. If I had not taken that decision, I would now be half a million dollars richer…endless regrets.
We all know it hurts to live in regrets; self-blaming, self-pitying, hatred, anger, revenge, and all those evils invade and permeate us. We analyse and apparently know what lessons can or should be learned, but we do not move on. Like shadows of ghosts, they do not desert us and they delightfully show us the way to gloom, to hell, to death. With the clock ticking by, we speed away from rather than toward the sunshine in life.
What should we do to trash regrets and start to live our life, to enjoy the sunshine rather than the gloom, to strive for heaven rather than for hell?
TECHNIQUE NO.1
Try this and see if it works for you. Buy a bottle of the most expensive milk you could. Go home and pour it into a big jar and “inadvertently” tip the jar and splash! all the milk trips into the sink. Any use crying over the spilt milk?Don’t answer this question now, as it would be useless. You must PHYSICALLY do the above, and then ask yourself if it is worth anything to regret over the spilt milk. The reason for your physical action is that it is so hardwired into our DNA that physical action counts and impacts whereas mental action flashes and leaves no trail. So that’s why one may have no qualm clicking the button and downloading a book whereas they would not do so stealing a book from the bookshop; both are theft and infringe copyright.
Do try the milk game at home, as you would likely be suddenly inspired out of your habit of showing regrets.
TECHNIQUE NO 2
If the above still does not work for your situation or for your particular regret, it is perfectly normal as we all had some sort of regrets for which there did not appear to have a way out. Now, write this down in big letters over your bed or on a piece of paper and put it into your pocket to read whenever a certain regret shows up and daunts you:
THERE IS NO JUSTIFIED RESENTMENT.
Indeed, no resentment can be justified. No resentment of others can be justified; equally importantly or maybe more importantly, no resentment of yourself can be justified. Regrets give rise to self blaming and to resentment of yourself, but that cannot be justified.
THERE IS NO JUSTIFIED RESENTMENT. Even no resentment of your enemies can be justified, let alone resentment of yourself. We all know the Bible says, “love thy enemies!” a thousand times and all the time. Why so? You may ask. Why do they deserve my love? Indeed, enemies need to be nailed to the post of shame and eaten bit by bit by ravens. However, in reality, that would not happen. It’s no problem that one hates his enemies for the rest of his life and finds ways for revenge. But, the reality and fact is that it is he, rather than the enemy, that gets the hurt; and there is no amiss that he will carry that baggage of hatred and revenge and hurt with himself day in and day out. For your own sake, for your own protection and liberation, love your enemies and then you shall shake off that baggage and proceed to enjoy the beauty of life.
THERE IS NO JUSTIFIED RESENTMENT is a liberating force that liberates one from regrets, from anger, from revenge. It calms and it inspires; it drives out regrets and it invites good life in.
Thus, to get over regrets and start to live your own life, do the above two physical actions: (1)pour the milk down the drain; and (2)write and carry and cling on to your teacher named THERE IS NO JUSTIFIED RESENTMENT.
